i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
