Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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