I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
