what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
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