weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
