There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am naked and annoyed.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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