Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
