just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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