I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
