Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
