Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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