You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
