sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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