I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
