What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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