Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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