it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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