The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
