i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize