how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
