He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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