I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
