so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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