who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
