Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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