isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
