I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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