We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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