he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
