my mouth tastes like poor choices
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
