I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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