maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
