Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize