life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
