a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
