wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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