My room smells like vodka and shame
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
