I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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