You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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