opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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