Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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