I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
