He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I will die if light touches me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
