Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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