Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
