He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
