She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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