I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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