I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize