Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
