is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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