oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
