You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
