when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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