nut hugger
I hate all girls vehemently.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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