I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
