yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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