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I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
