I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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