I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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