3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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