did you get engaged???
if you like me you must not know who I am
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
