Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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